XXII.VII.XVIII
sometimes I feel like im the only real person on earth. other times I question that,too. can you read this? sometimes I dissociate so hard I can't recognize words of any language. it's all so fake. am I fake? maybe. but the fact that I feel sick to my stomach must mean that im a physical entity,right? but who is "me"? the me you're seeing right now,which exists on the internet? my body? my brain? my soul? the me who interacts with people irl? are these all really the same person? that's hard to believe. I constantly feel like something,someone is watching me. I feel like im forgetting someone,something really important. I feel nostalgia for places that dont even exist. I could be wrong. But i have a really strong feeling that this time,it's this world that's wrong. my dreams seem more real than my reality does. I daydream all the time. I wake up crying a lot. I feel like im not supposed to talk about this,i feel like im gonna puke. what's wrong with me? why is this happening to me? why do I feel that im running out of time? what the fuck even is the concept of time? I don't believe them.
XXVIII.VII.XVIII
Im so alone. The emptiness is haunting me. I wish I could become one with the void.
XXX.VII.XVIII
I hate their fucking guts. they're all scum. If I could get rid of them all at once,I would. But that's not an option,at least for now.
XV.IX.XIX
im so tired.of this body.of this world.of everyone.today i slept for 17 hours and it felt like home for a while."home" isnt a physical place for me.i might be home physically,but it doesnt feel like it.i feel out of this world.i cant connect with anything in this world.i feel like im waiting for something thats never going to happen.i have so much hate inside of me for no particular reason.it feels like im burning alive sometimes and nothing can fix it.i just want to rip my skin off.time goes by so fast.im running out of time.